This is just a venting blog. Just because I feel like someone has to say it. So it may as well be me. This is about my ex. For the most part I get along with him. However, there is one thing I can not stand about him. Before you read this I will warn you it might offend some people.
The biggest thing I could not stand about my ex was he made my couch smell like ASS! He got so lazy he would sit or lay on the couch 24/7 watching television or playing videos games. He was so into his video games he would fore go a shower sometimes.
I started noticing a stench in my house. At first I thought a mouse had crawled off somewhere and died. Then one day I went shopping. I smelled this horrific stench. I realized it smelled like ass. I started eying other shoppers wondering who stank so bad. I thought perhaps it was an older woman. Maybe she was incontinent?
After making it to an isle by myself I noticed the smell was still there. It was me! I smelled like ass. Then I noticed at the checkout a couple people were turning their heads trying not to breath. So I hurried home to shower and change. My jeans smelled so bad I could barely stand it. Then I realized it was the same stench in my living room.
I had sat on the couch where my ex would sit. After braving sniffing the couch I finally knew where the stench was coming from. I shampooed the couch, spray it and vacuumed it. Nothing helped the stench. It only got worse. My ex commented on day about his friends not calling and inviting him over. I told him it was because he smelled like ass. At the time we had a cat. If the cat sat on the couch it smelled like ass.
I had sat on the couch where my ex would sit. After braving sniffing the couch I finally knew where the stench was coming from. I shampooed the couch, spray it and vacuumed it. Nothing helped the stench. It only got worse. My ex commented on day about his friends not calling and inviting him over. I told him it was because he smelled like ass. At the time we had a cat. If the cat sat on the couch it smelled like ass.
My ex was lazy but he did help me clean. He would actually lift his feet so I could vacuum around him. The cushion he sat in became shaped like his ass. The springs went in that spot. If anyone sat there you sank down to the floor. After we parted he threw a fit about what he wanted to take. I let him have all the furniture. I was happy to rid myself of Ass smelling furniture.
Anyway, this afternoon I was visiting one of my children. I noticed something stank. So I checked the babies diapers thinking perhaps a UPS package was delivered. (UPS = Urine & Poop Specimen) Well there were no brown packages. I gave my daughter's boyfriend the evil eye. I honestly thought it was him. There is no way I am going to let my daughter wind up with someone that makes her couch smell like ass. Lucky for him it was not him. Turns out my ex had visited them for a couple days.
Anyway, this afternoon I was visiting one of my children. I noticed something stank. So I checked the babies diapers thinking perhaps a UPS package was delivered. (UPS = Urine & Poop Specimen) Well there were no brown packages. I gave my daughter's boyfriend the evil eye. I honestly thought it was him. There is no way I am going to let my daughter wind up with someone that makes her couch smell like ass. Lucky for him it was not him. Turns out my ex had visited them for a couple days.
Now my ex and my daughter's boyfriend have something in common. They are addicted to video games and television. My daughter's boyfriend went on and on about how cool my ex is. That is until I pointed out that my ex left the lingering aroma of ass on their couch.
JUST VENTING! (Literally)
Much Love & Respect
AVID
AVID
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